My Story

Sex is the conduit through which I know myself, know others, and heal. Born in Los Angeles, California (a land of dreams) and raised in a queer household, I lived in a microcosm of a world that held hope and potential. I envisioned a way of life where love was expansive and sex was prolific. In actuality, as my sexual curiosities grew and I sought answers on how to fulfill my desire and explore my pleasure, none were found. The result of my failed search was years of negative experiences and a sexual desire that contorted around others expectations. It is a Violence that young girls (young people) are robbed of crucial information about their bodies, agency, and power. The theatre became a makeshift church for me. I found divinity in truth telling and the complexity of the human experience. On stage I could cry and scream and explore themes I was hungry to understand, like love and sex and heartbreak and grief. While I wanted to go to university for theatre, another passion had taken root in my body– human sexuality. I followed this thread, my gut, my intuition, to Paris.

Paris expanded me in ways I struggle to find words for. There is nothing like moving abroad, nothing like the culture shock of the world being much, much bigger than you perceived it to be… Of there existing a people who see life entirely differently than anyone you’ve ever known. Once again, I was able to dream, to see things not as they are but as they could be. Studying Gender, Sexuality and Society, I became fascinated by great philosophical thinkers, the orgasm gap, relationships, womanhood, and lifespan sexual development. In reclamation of my own eroticism, I wrote about mine and others sex lives in a blog called ‘Sex and Roses.” ‘Sex and Roses’ was my way to conduct research, by interviewing peers and strangers, asking them questions about what makes sex great, how to heal from heartbreak, and even, how they orgasm.

After graduating with honors from the American University of Paris, I moved to Australia. Melbourne introduced me to a world opposite from Paris. The women in Melbourne had shaved heads and tattoos and armpit hair. There is a curation of femininity in Paris, and there is also a denial of that curation- it’s the look-incredible-but-don’t-look-like-you-are-trying-she’s-got-that-je-ne-sais-qoui-kind of French thing. In Melbourne, there was a renunciation of societal beauty standards which had me in admiration. I landed my first job in sexology in 2019, as a student sexologist in the Australian Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine. At that time I was specializing in anorgasmia, sexual pain conditions, and sexual desire. It became crystal clear to me, something I had always suspected, that sex is never just about sex. To be a great sexologist, I would benefit from a broader background in psychology.

Returning to the USA in a post-covid highly divided America was a harsh experience. I had been abroad for five years, and was changed in ways I could not explain to my friends and family. In the midst of much self-discovery as I attempted to weave all these parts of myself together, I started a Master’s program in Psychotherapy at California State University Fullerton. Nothing like a therapy graduate school to tear you open and put you back together again! As a dual licensure program, I was in school for three and a half years. At the same time, I was also completing a two year sex therapy certification program. I kept up the 1:1 coaching while I was in school, seeing clients from all over the world, observing in real time where the world of sex therapy and psychotherapy could meet.

Now seven years into that private practice– my work, just like my world, has greatly expanded. What began as sex coaching, has matured into tailored coaching in the realms of joy, eroticism, authenticity, deeper relating, and desire. My work is not one thing, but a million things- because sex is and always has been tied up in everything else. To achieve sexual agency we must investigate the way we live our daily lives, the societal narratives we adopt as truth, and the values we will hold moving forward. I have been holding this niche corner of the healing space, and helping those with erotic cultivation for much longer than I’ve been seeing clients. I often feel like this work chose me, it was my fate (a fate I happily accepted) and there was no other choice in the matter! I view sexuality as it could be- transcendent, sacred, unabashed, joyful, and I honor that philosophical perspective everyday through my lived experience, and my one-on-one healing work with clients.

As Georges Bataille so beautifully encapsulated,

“Eroticism has its own secrets and I am trying to probe them now. Would that be possible without first getting at the very core of existence?”

- From ‘Death and Eroticism’ by Georges Bataille.